#Poem Yes, I’m Dying : Fiza Pathan

It has been many years but I can’t still forget,
Though the wounds are healing I still can feel the scars;
The lacerations of old are dressed up in bandages of philosophy,
White as the virgin’s hue still covers me without the sting of pain.
Where are you now in this plane of existence?
I can’t reach now evermore, so I might as well tell the world the truth,
That you hurt me and walked away leaving so numb to comforting words.
Blood so red does not dampen my spirits anymore,
But honestly to be true that is my anguish, has now gone and wreaked my physical body.
My physician says I’m dying soon in a twinkling of the eye,
I knew this would happen so I’m content with my Cancer outright.
But is it possible that your memory will haunt these words I write?
My death walks towards me so near at least now won’t you forgive and come back here?
Yes I don’t need any more to kill myself because I’m dying soon,
Your hateful words crept inside my flesh and plagued it into disuse.
I don’t know what will become of me on the other side of thought,
But if given a chance I still would pen down a poem for you this night.
Is it that late to say that I’ll always be there for you?
In memory engraved on my tombstone embellished for life.
This disease crawls along content that it’s right in punishing me,
I wouldn’t mind even if it took me now, but dear old love how it came to this I wonder how?
My herbs of the needle inject within myself a drop of breath or two,
But no chances of survival are left anymore for me to wait for you.
More than these dreadful cells are the selves I’ve been experimenting to get over our eternal feud,
Yes the grave is knocking at my door so is it time we fight no more?
I have many children not by blood but by chalk and some know of you,
They want to meet their father but if they only really knew.
That their mother is easing her grip on her loved ones tonight,
I want to tenderly tell them to go on and forget but I cannot say anything to them just yet.
Readers who will be stepping over my words in this poem today,
Will think I’m just joking about ill health for effect towards a saga of rhapsody.
They will like and share maybe to everyone but they will forget about you,
They won’t realize the truth till I am gone so dear is too late to say I still love you now?
I laugh out my emotions to the heavens if they do exist,
Who else will I meet out over there who will give my spirit a new twist?
But before they can erase my poem let me ink them in the lamp of sight,
For who knows will I have all my senses then and whether I’ll forget all this when it all ends?
Goodbye to amour and welcome grim skull of carrion death,
Goodbye to friends and fans of this reclusive poet.
Goodbye to words unsaid and even to the ones that made this young minstrel lie in bed,
Yes, I’m dying lover dear for the hundred hooded serpent of eternal loss stalks me now it’s quite near.
Copyright © 2016 Fiza Pathan
Image courtesy: http://www.morguefile.com/archive/display/1001035